By Jena Emmert
Ali Muldrow – GSAFE
On Nov. 29, the Women’s and Gender Studies (WGS) faculty and Women Empowerment club held a discussion on consent culture, featuring speaker Ali Muldrow from GSAFE Wisconsin.
Organized by the Women Empowerment club and WGS, the Monday-night conversation was created to stimulate discussion around what it means to give and receive consent.
“There’s a lot happening in the world that is making people feel unsafe,” said Cabell Gathman, co-director of the WGS program at Edgewood, as she introduced the event.
Muldrow started by stating her pronouns: she/her/hers. She then asked everyone in the room to introduce their names and pronouns. “I tell you my pronouns so you cannot assume,” she said.
Muldrow facilitated activities in which participants exercised giving and receiving consent. The first activity paired participants together to practice saying “no.” One person would turn to the other and say “no,” while the other replied, “I respect and honor when you say no.”
Participants admitted that the activity was difficult because it is hard to say no without explanation or reason. Consent is not only about understanding how to say no to others, but it is also about respecting others’ decisions.
After the activity, Muldrow commented, “In the Midwest, we treat the word ‘no’ like it’s a bad word…The foundation of consent is the right to say no.” She said that if someone can say no to another, that person feels that they can trust them, and they feel safe.
Consent not only involves the word “yes,” but participants should be aware of everything that is going to happen. When, where, who else, and how need to be part of the conversation.
As put in the YouTube video “Consent at 10,000 Feet” that Muldrow showed, “Have you ever had sex while skydiving? Where you talk about consent about the way you talk about wearing a parachute? No grey areas, no assumptions, like I’m pretty sure I’m wearing a parachute.”
Muldrow discussed topics of power, stereotyping, and rape culture for the rest of the night. She said power can be a roadblock in consent culture: “Power dynamics erode consent. If the person is powerful, if they are paying you, threatening you, etc., then it is not consent.”
Even within school systems, there are issues of power, perpetuated through dress codes. “Our entire culture says that we don’t own our own bodies,” Muldrow said. “We live in a rape culture.”
These discussions are imperative to helping to diminish rape culture and introduce consent culture. “You can pretend that rape is inevitable,” Muldrow said. “In this culture, rape is wrong only when we call it rape.”
To find out more about Muldrow’s work with GSAFE, visit https://www.gsafewi.org/.
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